Hairy Reflection

A trip to the hair salon is always a gamble, and always a moment of reflection.

Just like the casino, you step into the hair salon, hoping to strike it big and have that moment of eureka! with your new hairstyle. Achieving that perfect hairstyle, however, is just like striking the jackpot. No matter how little or how much you pay, that one perfect hairstyle is so elusive and more often than not, you end up feeling disappointed.

We’ve all experienced it many a time in our lives; “The hairdresser cut my hair too short!” “This wasn’t the colour I wanted on my hair!” “My hair looks totally out of shape!” “My haircut sucks!”

For the first time in 1.5 years, I decided to make a trip down to the hair salon for a proper haircut session. Now, other instances which involved trimming of my bangs don’t count; I’ve done so a couple of times within these 18 months, but for the most part, the crowning glory at my back remained untouched.

So much has happened within these 18 months. After my last session in January 2009, I had shoulder-length hair. After these 18 months, it was fast approaching waist-length. There were many split ends, my hair was always in tangles, my head was starting to feel increasingly heavy from the weight of the hair and I was always leaving behind trails of long hair strands.

I’m not sure why I put off making a trip to the hair salon for so long; of course, you can consider it a cardinal sin in the “Book of Hair Do’s and Don’ts”. Perhaps it was because my previous short hairstyle left me so traumatised, and growing my hair out in the longest length possible was a means of “making up for the lost hair”.

And so I finally decided to take the plunge and get my hair cut.

I watched as my hairdresser trimmed away meticulously at my hair, as the strands of my hair fell to the floor in constant motion.

It seemed as though all those events that had transpired within these 18 months were also falling through, finally about to be swept away with time.

What kind of memories, and what kind of events? You may ask.

They range from the trivial, to the more significant ones. This “crowning glory” of mine has accompanied me on various travel destinations, has had some men of the past run their fingers through, has accidentally poked a few people in their faces whenever I flicked my hair, and so on.

When those layers of hair finally dropped to the floor, it was as if closure was finally possible; there, those strands of hair lay, in their final resting place. There they were, waiting to be swept away. All the events of the past could no longer cling on to the hair, for some of the hair had already been snipped off. Yet, some memories still could, for only some of the hair had been snipped off, and not all. Those were the memories that I’d chosen to retain, and so they still managed to find a place in the remaining strands of the hair.

And then the act of shampooing sealed the closure; washing away some of the memories that I wanted to banish, and banished they were, swirling into the recesses of the sink.

Granted, my haircut was nothing drastic; it was merely trimmed to chest-length, with some soft layers thrown in from shoulder-length onwards.

But I emerged from the salon feeling absolutely triumphant, feeling lighter and walking with that extra bounce in the hair.

Yes, $35 was a gamble that paid off :)

"Yes, that’s right, they can’t be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can… This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted… That doesn’t work either, because what happens then is, the person you’re involved with can’t understand why you need to be friends with the person you’re just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say “No, no, no it’s not true, nothing is missing from the relationship,” the person you’re involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you’re just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let’s face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can’t be friends."
— When Harry Met Sally (via poeticheartache) (via dyn-yn)
Man-Eating Cats

Haruki Murakami simply has this “laser-like clarity” in verbalizing our exact thoughts …

“Izumi was ten years younger than me. We met at a business meeting. Something clicked between us the first time we laid eyes on each other. Not the kind of thing that happens all that often. We met a couple of times after that, to go over the details of our joint project. I’d go to her office, or she’d drop by mine. Our meetings were always short, other people were involved, and it was basically all business. When our project was finished, though, a terrible loneliness swept over me, as if something absolutely vital had been forcibly snatched from my grasp. I hadn’t felt that in years. And I think she felt the same way.

A week later she phoned my office about some minor matter and we chatted for a bit. I told her a joke, and she laughed. ‘Want to go out for a drink?’ I asked. We went to a small bar and had a few drinks. I can’t recall exactly what we talked about, but we found a million topics and could have talked for ever. With a laser-like clarity I could grasp everything she wanted to say. And things I couldn’t explain to anyone else came across to her with a precision that took me by surprise. We were both married, with no major complaints about our married lives. We loved our spouses and respected them. Still, this was on the order of a minor miracle - running across someone you express your feelings to so clearly, so completely. Most people go their entire lives without meeting a person like that. It would have been a mistake to label this ‘love’. It was more like total empathy.” (Man-Eating Cats, from Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman)

Strings Of Many Colours

Somehow these paragraphs from Haruki Murakami seem to jump out at me; here, sex is not depicted as vulgar or excessively erotic - rather, there’s almost a form of abstractness; abstractness about sex hidden deep in the recesses of the mind. Because most of the time, man is so fixated on eroticism as something explicit, and not something implicit.

“After she finished crying, usually, the two of them would make love. Only after crying would she be the one to initiate it. Otherwise, he had to be the one. Sometimes she would refuse him. Without a word, she would shake her head. Then her eyes would look like White moons floating at the edge of a dawn sky - flat, suggestive moons that shimmered at the single cry of a bird at dawn. Whenever he saw her eyes looking like that, he knew there was nothing more he could say to her. Rejected, he felt neither anger nor displeasure. ‘That’s how it goes,’ he thought, nothing more. Sometimes it even made him feel relieved deep inside. They would sit at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, chatting peaceably. They spoke in fragments most of the time. Neither was a great talker, and they had little in common to talk about. He could never remember what it was that they were saying, just that it had been in short snatches. And all the while, one commuter train after another would go past the window.

Their lovemaking was always hushed and tranquil. It had nothing that could properly be called the joys of the flesh. Of course it would be wrong to say that they knew nothing of the pleasure that obtains when a man and a woman join their bodies. But mixed with this were far too many other thoughts and elements and styles. It was different from any sex he had experienced before. It made him think of a small room - a nice, neat room that was a comfortable place to be. It had strings of many colours hanging from the ceiling, strings of different shapes and lengths, and each string, in its own way, sent a thrill of enticement through him. He wanted to pull one, and the strings to be pulled by him. But he didn’t know which one to pull. He felt that he might pull a string and have a magnificent spectacle open up before his eyes, but that, just as easily, everything could be ruined in an instant. And so he hesitated, and while he lingered in confusion another day would end.

The strangeness of this situation was almost too much for him. He believed that he had lived his life with his own sense of values. But when he was in this room, he couldn’t help but feel that he was wandering through chaos. ‘Am I in love with her?’ But he could never reach an answer with complete conviction. All he could understand were the coloured strings hanging from the little room’s ceiling.

They were right there.” (Aeroplane: Or, How He Talked To Himself As If Reciting Poetry)

Romantic love, demystified

(from the SC1101E Making Sense of Society lecture notes at NUS) Peter Berger shows how our idea of romantic love can be demystified:  (Social condition predisposes one to fall in love in the first place)

“We assume “that men and women marry because they are in love. There is a broadly based popular mythology about the character of love as a violent, irresistible emotion that strikes where it will, a mystery that is the goal of most young people … As soon as one investigates, however, which people actually marry each other, one finds that the lightning-shaft of Cupid seems to be guided rather strongly within very definite channels of class, income, education, racial and religious background. If one then investigates a little further into the behaviour that that is engaged in prior to marriage …., one finds channels of interaction that are often rigid to the point of ritual. The suspicion begins to dawn on one that, most of the time, it is not so much the emotion of love that creates a certain kind of relationship, but that carefully predefined and often planned relationships eventually generate the desired emotion. In other words, when certain conditions are met or have been constructed, one allows oneself ‘to fall in love’.”  (The Social Construction of Reality: A Treatise in the Sociology of Knowledge (1966))

Very apt.

peacelovechanel:

devotionanddesire:

I want these!! Chanel is god!


Damn, I want those guns Chanel heels!!! They could be a potential solution to end war, terror and crime in this world ;)

peacelovechanel:

devotionanddesire:

I want these!! Chanel is god!

Damn, I want those guns Chanel heels!!! They could be a potential solution to end war, terror and crime in this world ;)

I feel more comfortable talking to strangers than people I know sometimes. Perhaps this is because I’ll probably never see them ever again and I feel like I can say anything I want. They don’t know my past or what I’ve done. They can only judge me on who they’re seeing right at that very moment. I am the person I am now, not then. Some people I know don’t see the difference.

myorganizedmess:

(via runawaytrain)

Bold the truth (reblogged from thejaded)

Bold the truth

I avoid some people on purpose
I’ve thought about cheating
I hate the way I look most of the time
I actually like the way I look most of the time
I’ve been swimming in an ocean
I’ve been swimming in a lake
I have a sibling
I have pets
I’ve been on vacation recently
I love meeting new people
I am insanely shy
I’m on a sports team
My best friend is a boy
I play a musical instrument
I don’t remember the last time I mailed a letter
I talk on the phone almost every night
I drink milk almost every day
I’ve kissed someone in a bathroom
I’ve kissed someone in bed
I’ve kissed someone at school
I’ve kissed someone I just met
I’ve kissed a good friend
I like to read
I like to watch tv
I couldn’t care less about video games
I hate my mom and dad
I’ve had a crush on someone for 5+ years
I’ve never asked someone out
I can touch my nose with my tongue
I love pizza
I actually love going grocery shopping
I love to travel
I’ve been to another continent
I wish I had time to watch more movies
I miss being a little kid
I’ve been to a public pool recently
Summer is my favorite time of the year
Winter is my favorite time of the year
I have a favorite holiday
I have a favorite holiday other than Christmas
I’ve been to a concert recently
I drive
I have my own car
My room is almost always messy
I’m listening to music right now
Music helps me work
The last person I texted was a boy
I want a new phone really bad (am using my lil brother’s Nokia phone of 2 years! I spoilt 3 phones in 5 months last year oops)
I love cartoons
The last thing I drank was water
I used to play with barbies
I collect something
I’ve been to a carnival recently

I know what syncopation is
I need to charge my phone
I have a huge crush on someone right now
I’ve kissed someone within the last 24 hours
I’m still in my pajamas
I have to go to school tomorrow
I need to clean something
I’ve hurt myself on purpose
I’ve thrown up on purpose
I’ve broken a bone
I’ve eaten something weird
I’m an extremely picky eater
I’ve been out to eat recently
I love going to the mall
I hate big groups
I remember the last party I went to
I’m on the phone right now
I’m watching tv right now
I’m eating right now
I’m on the phone, watching tv, and eating right now
People say I’m funny
People say I’m pretty (this is subjective, don’t hold it against me!)
I’ve been told that I have gorgeous eyes (this is subjective, don’t hold it against me!)
I need new clothes really badly (which girl doesn’t?!)
My hair is up right now
I need to shave my legs
I remember the last time I went to the doctor
I actually use my locker at school
I get good grades
I have a MySpace
I showered last night
I spy with my little eye something that is green
I spy with my little eye something that is round
I spy with my little eye something that is broken
I’ve had surgery
Someone I know has died
Someone I know has had cancer
It’s past my bedtime
I’ve moved before
I’ve moved 4+ times
I’ve gotten something removed
People tell me that I have good hair
People tell me that they like my clothes
I wish I had some money right now

I have a job
I need a job
I actually got a stupid class ring
I’m listening to someone talking right now
I wish I could talk to the boy I like right now
I’ve kissed someone in front of my parents
I’ve kissed someone on New Year’s
I love Halloween
I remember the last time I tripped
I can see a picture of me from where I’m sitting
I can see my reflection from where I’m sitting
I’m kinda scared of the dark
It’s hard to sleep with the door open
It’s hard to sleep without a blanket
It’s morning
I played soccer when I was little
I played basketball when I was little
My ears are pierced
My belly button is pierced
I plan on going to college
I plan on getting married
I plan on having some kids
I babysit
I still get an allowance
I curse a lot
I got so drunk last night
I’ve been to a wedding recently
I’ve met someone special on vacation
I have an accent
I know someone who has been homeschooled
I know someone in a band
I can sing really well
I can dance really well
I’ve never slow danced with anyone
I suck at spelling
I suck at maths
I recycle
I am pro-choice
I know some rednecks
I want to get a tattoo
I want to get a new piercing
I hate MTV and VH1
I miss an ex
I still love an ex
I’ve slapped someone
I’ve punched someone

I’ve been told that I have a nice butt (ALL those players have said the same thing :/)
I think my boobs are too small
I wish I could lose some weight
I can play the guitar
I can speak another language
I am fluent in another language
I can play the piano
I’ve been told that I can’t dance

I’m a cheerleader
I have a sweet tattoo
I have a sweet facial piercing
I need to practice something
I want to go to Mexico
I want to go to Canada

I’ve traveled across the country
I live on the east coast
I went to the beach last summer
I remember the last time I was insanely sunburned

I like to waste time
I like to sleep
I think I’m going to get asked out soon
I keep a journal
I don’t remember the last dream I had
I think smoking cigarettes is gross
I’m wearing something that belongs to someone else
My mom fixed the last meal I had
I’ve never gotten my nails done
I should be doing homework right now
I’m adopted
I love sappy movies
I love horror movies
I love musicals
I’ve seen a broadway show
The last person I hugged was my mom/dad
All of my grandparents are alive
I miss my boyfriend.
I haven’t talked to my best friend all day
People tell me that I’m short
Sometimes my socks don’t match
I can’t wait till my birthday
I’m a procrastinator
I’m not like everyone else
I like strawberries
I like thunderstorms
Someone’s mad at me right now
I hate when people are rude
I’m an optimist
My first relationship ended badly
I love when boys hold doors open
I’ve kissed 2+ people in one day
I’ve had a boy sleep over at my house
I bite my nails
I’ve been caught doing drugs
I’ve been caught cheating
I haven’t been to Disneyland/Disneyworld
I’ve passed out from drinking
I get angry easily
I’m laid back
I hate most girls
I love getting new shoes
I hate Chinese food
I don’t remember the last time I was grounded
I’ve been in love before
I’ve been cheated on
There are certain songs that remind me of my ex
I straighten my hair more often than I should
I’ve been to a funeral this year
I am insanely hungry right now
“If you’re feeling naughty you should wear … a condom for BOOMZ! sex!”

This girl just enjoys lapping up all the attention eh? And no, fading into oblivion is definitely not on her cards.

Anyone in Singapore would definitely have heard of this notorious Miss Singapore World 2009 winner, who was stripped of her beauty crown after being found guilty of credit card fraud charges.

And just last week, news surfaced of her being the brand ambassador for Espire Condoms.

So let’s recap … this is how you thrust yourself into the spotlight for as long as you can, Ris-Low-style:

1) Speak horrible English during an interview segment carried out by RazorTV, the Straits Times Interactive video news site.

2) Look rather ordinary, in contrast to other Singaporean girls (I’m not saying that I am prettier than her, but you know that you have certainly seen much prettier girls on the streets, NUS, NTU, SMU etc).

3) And yet go on to win the title of Miss Singapore World 2008.

4) For lack of a better word during interview responses, come up with expressions like “BOOMZ! SHINGZ!”

5) Wear something RAD! and LOUD! whenever you’re feeling naughty.

6) Strut down Orchard Road in a bikini top and jeans whenever you’re feeling skanky bold.

7) Wear leopard/zebra PREENS with khaki colours.

8) Rack up police charges for credit card fraud incidents.

9) Do all that while you’re suffering from bipolar disorder.

10) Be the poster-girl for the Speak Good English campaign

11) Talk about wanting to open up a cake shop

12) Catch the attention of CNN, and then be voted as one of the “Top 25 Influential Asians of 2008”.

13) More recently, work part-time in a HIV clinic

14) And even more recently, be a youth ambassador for (Espire) condoms.

Actually, the list goes on and on.

Yes, it is benevolent of her to be working in a HIV clinic … or is it? Is the media merely trying to portray her in a more favourable light by highlighting the fact that she is working as a HIV clinic assistant? 2 years ago, when she was working as an assistant in another clinic, she started on her credit card fraud rampages while apparently suffering from bipolar disorder. The irony of working in a medical clinic.

But that aside … I find it somewhat unsettling to learn about her being the youth ambassador of Espire condoms. Why so? Certain excerpts from the January 15, 2009 edition of MyPaper.

“…Miss Low read - haltingly - from a prepared speech: ‘First, we encourage abstinence among those who are unmarried. But if they choose to engage in sexual intercourse, they should be educated on safe sex and how to protect themselves.”

Asked why Zander Asia chose Miss Low as its youth spokesman, its executive director, Ms Joy Tan, said: “It’s not easy to find a spokesman for this issue. Ris was game and she believes in the message.

“And sleazy poses with condoms are a no-no, because she is promoting a safe-sex message, not the products, she stressed.

She has not tried any of the products she is endorsing - no pre-marital sex for her, she said.”

Isn’t the ability to articulate oneself well an important consideration for being an ambassador for any cause or brand? If she truly did believe in the message, I don’t see the need for having to read off a prepared speech. If she truly and sincerely felt for the cause, articulation and finding the right words would come more naturally to her. And shouldn’t her English lessons at NUS for the past few months have taught her a thing or two about speaking and expressing her opinions better?

The issue about her being “game” enough to be the ambassador because of the difficulty in finding a spokesperson for this issue … well if her face is plastered on every advertisement with Espire condoms in all forms of media, naturally she would be game enough! It is after all, a means of her perpetuating her presence in the limelight.

I also personally feel that there is a conflict of interest between the cause and the ambassador.

The cause: Promoting the usage of condoms for safe sex

The ambassador: The so-called virginal lady who says no to pre-marital sex.

If that’s the case, wouldn’t it be even more appropriate for her to promote the cause of abstinence, instead of contraceptives? How can one feel 100% for a cause if she claims not to directly/indirectly engage in it?

It’s just me, being the Poster Girl for, say, … Air Pork. Even though I don’t eat pork at all because of my religious/dietary beliefs.

If you’re talking about her being tasked to front the Speak Good English campaign, or educating the public about credit card fraud, yes, then I would turn the other way round and give her a chance. But certainly not in this aspect!

Espire PR, you really have alot more work to do, in order to convince the general public that Ris Low IS the choice ambassador for condoms. Because Espire Condoms will not be my choice of condoms, should the need arise!

So, to whom it may concern … the next time you and your partner are getting it on decide to reach for that box of Espire condoms … don’t be surprised to see the words BOOMZ! SHINGZ! printed on the condoms!

Because Boomz! and Shingz! are , shall we say … really unintellectual more down-to-earth wordplay to describe that mind-blowing foreplay/sex.

NOBODY deserves to be molested, dammit!

The blogosphere here in Singapore is currently abuzz with circulated images and videos of a lady (pictured above) being molested and groped by 4 men at the New Year Countdown Party in Sentosa. Click here to watch the video.

That aside, netizens have been voicing out a myriad of opinions regarding the molestation incident. There have also been speculations of the lady being a “ladyman” but let us not question her “authenticity” and just assume she is but a statistic; another victim of molestation. While her molestation case is certainly not isolated, what makes it even more sensational is because of the video and images circulating at a viral speed. And also because eye-witnesses have not stepped up to give their statements to the police, choosing instead to upload such content online.

Yes, I digressed. Back to the main issue. Singaporeans remain divided. Paraphrasing some opinions:

“She deserved it, what! Aiyoh, wear until so skimpy and slutty … of course asking for it lah!”

“This is a beach party. She knew what she was getting herself into, anyway, so she deserved it.”

“She appeared drunk. Well, she chose to be drunk so she deserved it.”

“She did NOT deserve it. Castrate those bastards who molested her!”

“Well, the real JERKS are the ones videoing everything and not doing anything to help the lady!”

Seriously, I don’t get it; why should wearing a bikini to a beach party be considered “slutty”? Beach party, geddit? Here at Singapore we are not governed by shariah laws that require us women to be covered from head to toe in metres and metres of fabric. The setting here is casual, no different from a pool party. If someone were to wear a swimsuit or bikini to a pool party then, would she be considered a slut? And last I checked, nope, wearing a bikini does not warrant a lady the right to be molested at all.

Which then brings me to the next point: That lady deserved to be molested … NOT. This really makes me so sick. You know why it is so easy for people to point fingers at her and say that she deserved to be molested? Simply because they do not know her personally.

What then of the nubile primary schoolgirl who walks into the lift of her apartment, sees a man rush in and think nothing of it? And then, as the lift makes its way up, the man proceeds to say that there is some part of her body that does not seem well, and then go about touching/carressing her in her privates … inherently, in this situation, you wouldn’t say that the girl was asking for it.

The above two situations have a common factor though: That of certain men having no control over their perverse sexual desires. So much flak has been shot at the lady, but what then of those men who let their small heads (aka their dicks) get in the way of their big heads? (aka their brains) Never underestimate the power of the dick; but by that principle, would you then reverse the tables and say that those men were victims of temptation? Clearly, those men were in a more sober state of mind to act, but alas, they chose to act in deviant manners.

What if it was your sister/good friend/girlfriend/mother etc at such a party like this? What if she had a few drinks too many with your group of friends and got drunk? And what if all of you were somehow dispersed and sandwiched among all those throngs of people? And if she got molested in a blink-and-miss-it moment(without you or any of your friends looking out for her at that point in time), does that mean that she deserved it all? Just because she was drunk?!

Yes, alcohol is a social lubricant. It’s a double-edged sword; it numbs one’s inhibitions and when consumed up to a certain amount, gets one feeling extremely happy and unrestrained. But a single drop above the tipping point numbs one’s senses and HAS that potential effect of blocking out any semblance of memory in him/her.

If we assume that that lady was drunk, we could also assume that she could have been so drunk to the point of not remembering anything. Let us take a step back from the moral highground here: That the girl shouldn’t have been drunk, etc etc. That being drunk brings about such consequences and so on.

There comes a time or two in your life, when you’ve had too much to drink and ended up getting drunk as a result. And let’s face it; New Year’s parties are but one of those occasions which see a higher-than-average proportion of drinkers getting drunk. I can only say, Drink sensibly but ultimately the (in)discretion in which one does so is entirely up to him or her. No, I am not advocating that people start getting drunk at every party. All I am saying is, it is by far so much easier for the sober ones to judge than the drunk ones. Yes, prior to that tipping point, they are aware of the amount of alcohol ingested. Yet, when they go beyond that tipping point, they lose track of the exact amount of alcohol ingested. Such is the paradox of drinking. Butnope, calling a ban on alcohol would clearly not be a solution.

Now, we take a step up on the moral highground … seeing people’s reactions to the video irked me further.

“What would you have done?” This question was posed to those interviewed in the reaction videos.

Amidst all that condemnation of the lady being “slutty”, “skanky” etc, here’s what some of them had to say:

“Er … nothing lah. Because I don’t want to get involved in all that trouble. Also because those guys be dangerous and violent if I retaliate.”

YEAH, RIGHT. For all that has been said against the lady, this is what certain Singaporeans choose to do.

But I agree that such is the parochial mindset of certain Singaporeans; always too eager to criticize, but never too eager to step up to the action.

This apathy has been rather pervasive; maybe because we grew up in a society taught not to go against The White-uniformed Divine Beings of the state … so perhaps this inability for political freedom of speech simply translates to freedom of criticism in other non-political issues, and diminishing the need for taking action should the situation call for it. That is, but another conspiracy theory, which I might save for another time.

I just feel the need to reiterate my point: Nobody deserves to be molested, ever.

Btw, I not-so-discretely wish to state that content listed on this blog is Copyright Azlyn’s, unless otherwise stated. Reproduction of Azlyn’s content is allowed, but only with proper credit. Yes, I am anal-retentive, but I take intellectual property rights issues very seriously. Years of academic education have taught me to do so.

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Themed by: Hunson