I write this entry with the grave danger of generalizing, maybe even on the brink of being judgemental. I foresee having many daggers thrown my way, or maybe not given that this blog is mainly for my private space anyway, and traffic is rather negligible.

Anyway, my girlfriends and I had a good chat last night for a few hours - talking about the course of our lives, our past … and dating.Especially where Singaporean men are concerned.

The dating game of present could almost be likened to rocket science. Now, it’s not so much about Boy meets Girl, Sparks Fly, and then off they become the 2-in-1 entity known as “Boyfriend&Girlfriend”.

These days, it’s somewhat more complex. Oh, perhaps you can even liken the whole dating game to rocket science. A girl can have so many permutations and combinations about the possibilities of Boy-In-Mind liking her, analyzing every single little detail that he does, right down to every full stop and exclamation mark used in his SMSes.

Us girls, we have all faced this situation at some point in time - Boy meets Girl, sparks fly, neither party does anything.

Or another scenario: Boy meets girl, sparks fly, girl tries to make the extra effort, boy is way too dense to see through her actions, or way too hesitant to pluck up that extra courage to go along.

We liken it to boys these days being rather indifferent; they know that there are girls showering them with attention, they might be rather flattered, BUT.

They might not have the same degree of feelings / attraction towards the girl, but nevertheless, find it more convenient to have the girls by their side at the end of the day, so would rather prolong the one-sided “not-so-relationship” and not confess their actual feelings in the negative. These girls are but regarded as “arbitrary” … she’s always there for me, no matter what I do or don’t do. So, I don’t have to make that extra effort, because that will come from her, so I will just respond as and when I want to.

OR. Some can be way too shy; they do envision the possibility of a nice relationship with the girls, but simply cannot muster enough courage to let the girls know how they exactly feel.

And so the girls try and try and try. With each effort they get even more worn out, maybe even more disheartened. With every effort they cloud their heads with even more permutations and combinations.

Some of us girls - we wait out for weeks, months … even years. How long we continue to be in this not-so-relationship depends on our stamina and capability in sustaining this entire period of mind games and guesswork.

It takes a lot for us to walk out of the not-so-relationship, and when we do, it could work both ways: Either revert to the status quo (just staying friends), or end things off rather harshly. Even though there was no relationship to even begin with; just the prospect of what could have been a relationship all this while.

I have read elsewhere, how Singaporean men these days lament about their lack of prospects with fellow Singaporean women.They complain that these women would rather pick foreigners.

In our defense, we have only this to say: In this day and age, it’s time to banish that Alpha-Male and overly-chauvinistic, traditional mindset.

Stop feeling threatened that our earning parity is on par with you men, if not more.

Stop feeling threatened if our educational qualifications or resume look even better than yours now.

Stop thinking of not wanting to go out with us, solely based on how you perceive us to be “high-maintenance”. Education, empowerment and rising affluence are correlated to one’s desire for more worldly and material pleasures, somewhat. Besides, every high-maintenance girl might not readily admit it, but it is indeed the smaller things in life that really count.

Stop expecting us to be the submissive, traditional SUPERwomen - working so hard for our office jobs, and then coming home to cook for you and tend to the household chores. The worth of a woman is not based on the ability of managing household chores anymore.

Start being more proactive; give us girls the attention that we deserve. We are not asking for 24/7 attention. Rather, when you sense that there is some semblance of mutual attraction or chemistry, play your part too. It takes two to tango. Take turns to take the initiative.

Granted, there is no one-trick-solves-all when it comes to the rules of the dating game. But what you do when it comes to romance is rather intrinsic; we don’t expect that you refer to a 1000-page SOP on dating procedures. Start regaining your romantic mojo; nobody is born devoid of romance and sensitivity.

If you guys play your part, then gladly will we play our part too … and maybe, our castigation of Singaporean men these days will then come to a cessation.

Disclaimer: Do not get me wrong; I am not swearing off Singaporean men. I have had my fair share of dating both Singaporean and foreign men. But my take on local men is based on what I have experienced so far.